Entry 5

 I have never met my grandparents. Well that statement isn't completely true because I do not have deceased grandparents on my mother’s side. My mother’s mother has been a part of life when I was younger and lived in Venezuela, my mother’s father abandoned her family and because of that I have only seen my grandfather one time. The only memory I have is of him at the airport and he gave me a hug and that was the day I discovered B.O…

But on my father’s side, my grandfather and grandmother passed away several years before I was born. So the only thing I have left of them are the antique pictures and stories that my father and aunts tell me. I was named after my grandmother, Maria del Carmen Gamboa. Some of my family members who were able to meet her say that I have a light resemblance of her…

But besides this little back-story of my family history, the point I’m trying to get at is…

Can you have a relationship or connection with someone that is deceased?

            The thought of that seems very creepy but at the same time I have heard that some religions including Native American’s believe that our ancestors are our “guardian angels” when we are here on earth.

This might sound really strange, but I really feel like I may have a connection with my grandmother. Not that I've witnessed anything or things like that, but just the thought her… It makes me very emotional.

It’s almost like I miss her and mourn for her, but yet, I have never met this women in my life. And I even dare to say that I love her a great deal , and I feel that she is with me and loves me back… To make things even stranger, when I was little and I didn't know the stories about her I still felt a very strong connection for her… I just know she’s with me and she loves me so much…

It’s the most comforting feeling and yet at he same time I can’t lie and say that it doesn't scare me a little bit. This just might be one of the most personal stories I've shared with anyone. 

Maybe I should consider consulting a psychiatrist. ;)